Larry Bird Rankings (April 28)

Day late, dollar short.

1. Chivas USA. Team made MAJOR mistake in passing up Stefan Frei... oh wait...
2. Seattle. Keller has yet to allow an MLS goal.
3. Chicago. Making a habit of dramatic road come-from-behind draws.
4. Real Salt Lake. Six goals in less than 40 minutes? How about some of that on the road?
5. Kansas City. Some minor kinks still need to be ironed out, but KC's got a good team this year.
6. DC United. Wonder what DC fans savored more - scoring twice in stoppage time to win a game, or to do that against New York?
7. New England. That's a good way to ruin your goal differential.
8. Colorado. Tough to beat the same team three times in one month.
9. Toronto. 1-0 wins ain't pretty, but they count just the same.
10. Houston. Extension for Kinnear sends message - it ain't his fault the team's sagging.
11. LA Galaxy. Cronin/Wicks/Saunders may have been the problem all along.
12. San Jose. Road losses like Saturday's are compounded by dropped points at home.
13. FC Dallas. FC Dallas hasn't been too bad lately, there's hope after all!
14. Columbus. At least they had...
15. New York. ... a nice run to the Cup.

Lactate Buildup Rankings (April 20)

1. Chivas USA (4-0-1). Chijindu, Stepanovic, Mayen... who are these guys? Looks like Preki's system is working pretty well after all.
2. Chicago (2-0-3). Draw that felt like a loss, and looked like a train wreck.
3. New England (2-0-2). On wrong end of late equalizer this time around.
4. Kansas City (2-2-1). Strong effort on road when all looked lost.
5. Seattle (3-2-0). Untimely goals allowed, offense has dried up... expansion ills strike expansion side.
6. Colorado (2-2-1). Road magic had to end at some point.
7. Real Salt Lake (2-2-0). RSL's gotta figure out those road woes.
8. DC United (1-1-3). Late equalizer shows possible signs of good things to come.
9. San Jose (1-2-2). 'Quakes dropping points like crazy early on.
10. Houston (1-2-2). Win over Colorado not pretty but Dynamo will take it.
11. New York (1-2-2). At least one MLS Cup 08 finalist now has a victory.
12. Columbus (0-2-3). Crew took week off to reflect on horrid season-opening stretch.
13. FC Dallas (1-3-1). Did all they could to blow two-goal lead but TFC's Wynne gave them a hand in their win after all.
14. LA Galaxy (0-1-3). Come-from-behind road point is encouraging but team still has not shown it can win.
15. Toronto FC (1-2-2). Went 0-1-1 against FC Dallas over two consecutive weekends. TFC stinking up joint once again.

Loon Bird Rankings (April 13)

1. Chicago. Came back three times on the road, escaped with draw.
2. Chivas USA. Have most points in the league; scary thing is, there's a lot of room for improvement.
3. New England. Busiest week in league history? Not for Revs, who had bye week.
4. Seattle Sounders FC. Coming off first loss, Seattle now has some adversity to deal with.
5. Real Salt Lake. Things are going well when Olave scores a goal.
6. Colorado. Conor Casey, a star in the making.
7. Kansas City. Davy Arnaud, a star in the making
8. San Jose. Offense looks like it won't be a problem every week.
9. Toronto FC. Let worst team in the league score late equalizer at BMO.
10. DC United. Crayton inspires zero confidence with games like Saturday.
11. Columbus. Welcome back to 2007, Crew.
12. Houston. If this funk continues, will Kinnear's job be in danger soon?
13. New York. Any point on the road for this team is huge success.
14. LA Galaxy. Maybe top allocation spot for Berhalter wasn't a great idea after all.
15. FC Dallas. Someone aside from Cooper steps it up for a change.

Lemon Basil Rankings (April 6)

1. Chicago. No Blanco not exactly a hindrance for early-season success.
2. Seattle. Setting the standard in the Western Conference already - does that speak to Sigi Schmid's ability to manage or the state of Western clubs?
3. New England. Efficient and effective soccer.
4. Chivas USA. Not quite like Seattle's 3-0 start but Chivas USA have been unbeatable this season thus far as well.
5. Real Salt Lake. RSL hoping to make Rio Tinto a fortress in '09; so far, so good.
6. Toronto FC. Shaky defense at home not supposed to have been trademark of this year's team.
7. Colorado. Conor Casey-Omar Cummings partnership could be lethal.
8. DC. Slowly emerging as a decent club.
9. San Jose. First road game of '09 not encouraging.
10. Columbus. Was Schmid that influential?
11. Kansas City. Solved, at least temporarily, their defensive issues.
12. Houston. Slow starts have plagued them before, but the slump might last until October.
13. New York. Can't score against 10 men for 76 minute; Danny Cepero was a nightmare too.
14. LA Galaxy. Embarrassing performance against the Rapids.
15. FC Dallas. Will struggle to win six games this season.

Lady's Bedstraw Rankings (March 31)

A day late, but here they are

1. Chicago. Four points in two road games not a bad way to start the season.
2. Columbus. Will be tested with two road games in four-day span this week (at RSL, at Chivas USA).
3. New England. See no. 1.
4. Seattle. Fredy's got skills.
5. Toronto. Got a draw at Columbus without Amado Guevara.
6. San Jose. Cam Weaver and Ryan Johnson showing positive signs.
7. Chivas USA. Another first for the team: their first-ever 2-0 start.
8. Real Salt Lake. Have they already passed the torch?
9. Houston. Ching and Kamara return Saturday; problems though may be on defense.
10. Colorado. If Cummings can keep this up, Colorado will contend.
11. New York. Thanks to Jay Heaps, Red Bulls' offensive production has resulted in one own goal in two games.
12. LA Galaxy. No Galaxy games coincide with US qualifying matches; funny how that worked out.
13. DC United. They can't hold leads at home either.
14. Kansas City. Five goals allowed in two games - yikes!
15. FC Dallas. Relegation-bound... well, they could be anyway.

Liechtenstein Beckons Rankings (March 23)

I suppose I should preface this by saying that some teams impressed me with wins and good performances while others didn't and still showed flaws.

1. Chicago. McBride bags winner, Blanco scores on free kick - a winning combination.
2. Columbus. Barros Schelotto still has magic touch.
3. New England. Reports of their demise have been premature.
4. Toronto. Defense still has issues but when Guevara is on form, it doesn't matter much.
5. Real Salt Lake. Season started early for everyone save RSL.
6. Seattle. Three-nil ass whipping of MLS Cup finalists great start for franchise.
7. Houston. Hung right in with MLS champs, but defense wilted at the wrong moment.
8. San Jose. Offense doesn't show much of anything - a sign of things to come?
9. Kansas City. Hirsig > Marinelli.
10. Chivas USA. Nagamura makes up for bad performance by Lillingston and Braun.
11. New York. Red Bulls remind us once again that last year's MLS Cup was indeed a fluke.
12. Colorado. Allowed two goals to a team that had nothing going forward.
13. Galaxy. They'd not have come back against a better defense.
14. DC United. Is Gomez's goal proof that he's back? Well, he did score in last year's opener too.
15. FC Dallas. Defensive questions worsened after one match.

Locator Beacon Rankings (March 16)

Here's how I see the MLS teams entering this season.

1. Columbus. Schmid's loss may hurt but most everyone else is back.
2. Chicago. That sound you hear is the window closing on the Fire. It's now or never, and now is actually a good bet.
3. San Jose. This team was strong last year as an expansion team. With a full offseason and a year's worth of experience under their belt, expect the 'Quakes to contend from the start.
4. New England. You can't really count out a Steve Nicol-led team, can you?
5. Real Salt Lake. Let's see how this team does when people actually expect something from you.
6. Houston. De Ro is gone but there is still quality on this team.
7. New York. Was MLS Cup run a fluke? Maybe, but Osorio is a good coach and will have this team in contention.
8. Kansas City. Can Claudio Lopez recover? If he can be the potent goal scorer he was expected to be last year, KC will be strong.
9. Colorado. For the first time in a long time, there is hope with the Rapids at the start of the season: Clavijo is nowhere to be found.
10. Chivas USA. Call me crazy but...
11. Galaxy. ... I don't like either one of the SoCal teams this year.
12. Toronto FC. De Ro is massive but the East is stacked.
13. FC Dallas. Defense is terrible; how much it improves in early part of season will determine of FC Dallas can contend at all this year.
14. DC United. Good news: Christian Gomez is back; bad news: Gomez hasn't been relevant in more than a year.
15. Seattle. Sorry, but you have to earn my respect on the field. One win, though, and they may zoom up the charts. Or not. They have to earn it though.